389. - Chris & Jason

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week, Jason. Does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcasts. or watch on YouTube. Saturday night. How long gone? Hashtag New York Fashion Week 22. Coming to you live. We got the U.S. Open. We got Isabel Morant. We don't have that, actually. We have Colleen Estrada. Colleen Estrada. I did get to meet Kathy Horn in front of Key Foods on Avenue A today because the Colleen Estrada show was on Avenue C where you go to cop heroin. But there's a beautiful garden there. Avenue C for copping. Yeah, Avenue C stands for copping, but it looked – What were you getting at Key Foods? It's a global market. You know that. Well, Key Foods, I was walking by, and she was staying there with Matt Schneier, so I stopped and chatted. But Key Foods has recently, actually, for all the East Village resident listeners, the budget grocery store in the neighborhood has undergone an important renovation. Oh. They take Bitcoin now? No, no, no. They just kind of redid the floors and some other... Do they carry Snake River Farms beef? They carry more organic products, of course, to cater to the neighborhood and the local constituents, but they also... Thanks, AOC. ...did all of this overnight, I think, and it honestly... Like a flash mob style? No, no. I think they just did it from midnight until 6 a.m. for months or whatever, and it looks...

strikingly similar to the way it did before the renovation, which is confusing. Okay, so they call that a tuck and roll. I know you're a contractor, so I'd love for you to teach me something. Instead of doing a full gut reno, we'll just kind of change the cabinets out. We'll repaint that, but we're not going to really do a full remodel. But I feel like redoing the floors of a grocery store is a pretty big fucking undertaking. That seems insane. And this is why people listen to How Long Gone. We're talking about how long it might take to redo some flooring in a regional supermarket. No shots, no shots. First of all, no, we need to start with the important stuff. Jason had his first U.S. Open night match, one for the books. Francis Tiafoe representing the USA. Carlos Acarez representing Spain. Let's go, Francis. There was a lot of white people around me yelling, let's go, Francis. And it felt odd. Well, you have to cheer for the American. Sports are kind of country-based, for better or worse. No, no, no. I mean, more so of like it had a very similar sing-songy rhythm to let's go, Brandon. Oh, I've never heard the let's go, Brandon chant. Where have you heard that? every day of my fucking life you're like every time i visit my mom in orange county every time i go to orange county and i don't turn my blinker on on the tesla somebody yells let's go brandon at me i uh okay but you so this match was a five set nail biter that went i believe i saw on uh espn.com until 250 a.m um which is i don't think that's that no it did not it did not it did not east coast time maybe yeah yeah yeah i mean because yeah i mean No, no, no, because we left. No, I saw the end of it. Oh, you did? On the train, on my phone. Okay, then you did leave early, and what time was that, 1? No, no, no, no. It was like midnight. Oh, okay. I mean, because the game starts at 7, 7.20. Yeah, but you know these guys love to take bathroom breaks. 8, 9, 10.

11, 12. Yeah, you're probably right. Yeah, because 2 a.m., that would have been a seven and a half hour battle. I think there was a 2 a.m. or this week, but I think it was the men's match that would start after the women's. Alcaraz did like a four hour and a five hour leading up to it. I don't know much about like HGH and kind of those cool. I'm going to get into it, obviously, as I stare 40 in the face. But it seems like Carlos started that a little early at 19. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's big. He's a big 19-year-old. We've talked about this before on the show, but he went from being like a pimply, gawky teenager to being like a ripped man in like a six-month period, and now he's going to win the U.S. Open is my prediction. He went from McLovin to Chad overnight. Deadass. He looks like, I mean. He has a great Caesar. His jawline is coming in due to his Nike has its own chiseling technology. Do you think he's a virgin? I do. Do I think he's a virgin? I never have sex with pussy, but he's had sex before. I don't think so. Not vaginal. No, no, I don't think so. I believe that... The Spaniards are known freaks. You know what I mean? They like to get it in. But I believe that his coach may be like. I got a little something in me. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've heard that about the Native American people as well. But I think that the coaches might not allow him to have intercourse because he needs to save all of that energy for the court. Carlitos. No sex. Exactly. No sex. Exactly. A lot of Eastern medicine will say we can deplete your chi. Exactly. And you need that chi to really... To win a major. To go round. To win a major, you need to... To win a mayor. When you say... Mayor to name me. Carlitos. When you say go rounds, I think some people might think you mean in the bedroom, but in this case we mean rounds of tournament in the tennis world. It's not you would think I invented sex. You would think I invented a great tennis game, a great game of tennis. And I did see some footage of you at the American Express Centurion Lounge enjoying kind of all they had to offer there.

Yeah, so, well, I mean, I guess we should start from the start. Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't mean to jump ahead. I apologize. We went over to that restaurant in Brooklyn. It's called, like, Lila. Lilia? Lilia. Oh, of course, you went to a pasta restaurant favored by Jay-Z and Beyonce that is a tough table to get, but I'm sure you went at 3 in the afternoon. We went at 4.20, and we were able to secure a seat at the bar. And I had seen it a long time ago because they had this. Pasta that has, like, the stuffed eggnolotti with saffron. Please tell me it's mid. Please tell me it's mid. I mean, it was a good restaurant, but it has, like, the energy. It's, like, Obama's favorite restaurant. It's impossible to get a table, but it has. Don't bring up Red Rooster in Harlem again. Jake said the Rowdy Rooster is the new shit. Rowdy Rooster is... Now, is he with Bobby Schmurter? He's on Dipset. Okay, okay. He's a new Dipset guy. He's actually Cameron's illegitimate son. He goes by Rowdy Rooster. That's Cameron's son. So, we went there, had a nice little cucumber salad, Persian cukes. Boy, were they crunchy. Wow, I bet. And we had the... The restaurant was fine, but it has this weird kind of sterile energy to it. Where restaurants like Din Tai Fung and all these places that are like these well-oiled machines that print money and the consistency is perfect and they nail everything. And it's so perfect that you don't like it. It's like when you watch 4K television. I hate that. You know I hate that. You know, it's a restaurant version of that where everything is good, you can't fault it, but it just feels odd being in there. For some reason, I like that at Dentai Fung because it seems like precision is part of the brand. Whereas at a cool Italian restaurant in Brooklyn, I'm not looking for precision in the brand. I don't think it was bad. I think I learned that I'm just not a saffron lover. Saffron does not belong in the driver's seat. It belongs... It's merely an addition. It should be sitting bitch in the back. Okay. Okay. So the saffron's in the middle. Not making a peep. In the middle seat of the 9-11. Okay. Well, so this is, you started, so you lined your stomach before sucking down those free Heinekens. So they weren't free, sweetie. So, yeah, lined your stomach, had a little spritz, had a nice little vino. Bay had a Lambrusco. Boy, was it vinegary. And then we took the train over Friday, 6 p.m., train to Queens.

Packed like a sardine. I bet. You know, just... I bet. Fucked up. And, like, I graduated to the type of person like how you are, where you can't touch anything in the subway. I just sit down. Oh, no, I mean, there was no... You couldn't... It was one of those things where the doors open, and, like, five dudes look at you like, uh-uh. I'm glad to hear that. And you have to cram yourself in. I hope there were no masks either, or at least very few. It was 50-50. Okay. 50-50 masks. There was one or two people who would yell something and people would get scared. I think you mean showtime and they start dancing? No, no, no. It was more like, is today the stabbing day? No, it's not. Wow. So your trip to Queens felt less like an ALD lookbook and more like some crime could be happening. Well, this was while we were still in Manhattan. Just every once in a while you have somebody who's... mentally unstable. Yeah, that's right. And before they get on or off the subway, they might just, like, scream in infidelity into the air. Okay, okay, okay, okay. And everyone in the... Thank you for that dashboard professional reference. Everyone turns around like, oh, fuck, oh, God, what's happening? Not today, not today. Okay. So you took the train, first mistake, but also economical. You don't have to. Well, the blade was out of service. The friend of the show, Jeff Henriksen went today as a guest of Ralph Lauren. They were chauffeured there. Oh, okay. So as a guest, okay. Well... I mean, I'm marrying rich, but not that rich. It's better to take the subway, 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, once I set my money up, then I'll be able to be chauffeured. I mean, I don't think you will. Don't get me wrong. I would love to be in some type of, you know, Amex party bus going down there. The Amex party sprinter. Just Grey Goose jello shooters and, you know. J.P. Morgan push-up contest. How? Because I've heard from sources as well as my own two eyes that the tournament is rammed this year, much like that subway car. Rammed. There's too many people. I mean, I don't understand because it's like, here's our tennis stadium. It holds 10,000 people. No, it holds a lot of people. Let's say it holds 20. Arthur Ashe holds a lot of people. Ashe be holding 30? No, I don't know. Let's call it 20. Okay. Just, you know.

So you would think there would be like 20,000 people there. What are all these people? They just walk around. They want to be in the grounds. They want to be in the grounds. Much like the Henman Hill over at Wimbledon where you watch the TV. But it's so rammed. The idea of going to something, it's like, oh, I'm going to go to this concert and stand outside so I can hear it and then buy a bootleg t-shirt and leave. Well, that used to be fun and cool because it would be you and like... 78 other people, and we're going to climb up into the tree at the Hollywood Bowl and catch a couple of James Addictions. No, this is people watching on a giant TV, though. Right, right, right. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like when the Timberwolves are going to win on the road, and everyone goes and watches it in some part. There's something about... I think the problem is it's just so driven by spending now. Oh, yeah, bro. That's the reason why it's so congested. It's just like every single moment, every touch point, every five feet you walk is a new line to stand in for something to buy, which is just Manhattan in general now. Well, that's because to be here you have to be rich, and that's why I love it. Yeah, but you... There is a juice press at the U.S. Open, at least last year, so I hope you kind of stopped in and checked that out. I did not check out. I'm not there to buy juice. Did you get some sushi? No, no, no. We didn't eat any food. There's some good fries. They're known for the fries. We had some fuku chicken tendies. I had to cross the picket line and eat some Dave Chang food. I'm sure he didn't touch it himself. How were they? The tendy was hitting, I will say. Really? Well, I mean. Waffle fries were soggy, and the seasoning was too sugary, but otherwise it was a nice treat. Because it's all like New York-like. No, it's just like poke bowl. It's like being at the airport. You want poke bowl, chicken burger, poke chicken burger. At one point, there was a Dean DeLuca for sure. There's an Eataly there too, but I don't think they do a retina scan for how rich you are. I hope Mario was there kind of cooking up. Mario's in there tossing dough, sure. We went last night to a restaurant called One Fifth, a new restaurant that was quite good, but it was in an old... I'm like, I've been here before. I'm like, oh, it's an old Batali spot that got...

Shut down. Oh, really? Shut down. Yeah. One-fifth. Yeah. Do you know the origin of that fun name? It's one-fifth Avenue, so it's like an old building that's been there. I was thinking fractions like a bozo. It's a building that's been there for like 200 years. Like one-fifth of Mario's accusers have come out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I wanted to ask you quickly, not to get us off track. They had an item on the menu last night called Pisa. P-I-S-A. Like leaning tower up. Exactly. And they're like, this is similar to a pizza, but it's three different kinds of flour, and then there's more or less water or something. It was delicious. Was it impossibly crispy? No, it had a nice heft. It was very good. Was it gluten-free? No. Oh, okay. They did offer a gluten-free noodle, though. That's fun. It was quite good. So pizza, three different flowers. I'm sure you remembered the flowers. I don't, but I was looking at them. I was like, I thought these are pasta. And then the server, who was quite chatty, explained the origin, of course, of the pizza. You catch their name? No, no, no. It's a new restaurant, so they're still talking too much. Got it. They don't hate us yet. All right, I'm sorry. So you're at the U.S. Open. How bad are your seats? All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable, and they're just easy but still put together. I don't want to look like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. They focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breathable linen and soft organic cottons. Well-made basics but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated. but still effortless. Yeah, Chris, linen season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But, you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer and quality European linen pants and shirts.

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Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web. So do our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues. Obviously. Maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world, writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly. A website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school. And I just want a place where I could, you know, have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools so those future graduates can find me. And, you know, I'm able to accept, quote, unquote, donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. Show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early. And we can use Blueprint AI to make your website look as professional as your competition, if not more. So head to squarespace.com slash how long for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code how long to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Pretty bad. Okay, pretty bad. Pretty bad. I think this is a good inaugural experience for you. I've luckily never had to sit in a bad seat, but I have in my lifetime. Well, I mean, yeah, I didn't have to. It was just one of those things where we were like, if I really wanted to like DM a bunch of people, I could probably scrounge up some type of access to some area. You could have swept the Lacoste box and they would have let you stay. Not Lacoste. I'm not slumming it. Just kidding. I don't think they're actually, I don't think they're part of it. I mean, yeah, like the Wilson, you know, our good friends, Jake and Adrian decided to not extend the offer to let me join them in the Wilson booth.

And I'm sure there's a Rolex area that some people had access to and the blah, blah, blah. But I think it's like you have to put your energy out into the world and be like, hey, guys, I'm a member of this community. It's like when you go to your first Burning Man, they don't roll out the red carpet for you. What's the community you're part of? Influencers? Or you mean tennis fans? Yeah, just like... I feel like you have to sort of earn the right to be plucked from the nosebleeds and dropped into... I wish I felt the same way, and this is loser thinking, but I like that you've justified the location of your seats in this kind of highfalutin way. That's nice. Well, we were, I mean... The irony is that we were on vacation in Sicily, you know, whatever, a month ago. Let's not go back there. Laying by a pool, you know, smoking cigs and reading my CAA book and resting and relaxing. And then my life partner was nice enough to be like, hey, you always say you want to go to the U.S. Open every year for your birthday. You know, it falls through the cracks. We never go. Let's go this year. Show me how to, you know, send me the ticket link and I'll buy tickets and I'll take you for your birthday. And I'm like, sick, that's awesome. And, you know, tickets, good seats are how much? Thousands. Thousands of dollars. For that level where you, I mean, for that, like that deep in the tournament. For the men's semifinals. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'm only kidding, Jason, because I know as a DJ and an influencer, you thrive off of energy. And I think what you're able to get being in Ash, no matter where you're sitting, is energy. Well, in the nosebleeds, there's too much energy. Yeah. And unfortunately, the energy is just energy I'm not used to. Are you saying you don't have a lot of Jewish friends? That is a big one, yeah. Every time a set finishes, people...

People in sweater vests and, like, salmon-colored shorts. Uh-huh. Or maybe a pair of bird dogs or on running. These are wasps that you're talking about. Yeah, they're like, all right, sit. And then you take a little break, and then these wasps scatter like cockroaches to go run out and buy a new $22 gray goose cocktail with little green. How are those? I didn't drink that piss. You kidding me? $22 for a fucking Applebee's Cosmo? It's so upsetting to me when... I'm not going to drink a raspberry liqueur cocktail. It's a win in Rome situation. It's a win in Rome situation. When in Rome, I drink Heineken Tallboys. How much is the Heineken Tallboy? I don't know. I probably spent $8,000 on Heineken yesterday. So was the Heineken Tallboy... Was this like Coachella pricing, you think? Or you don't check the price tag? I don't check the price tag with my great Amex Platinum card, but I do. Yeah, I mean, they're probably $18 per beer. Yeah. And it's just a can that would be 99 cents. Did you get pissy at all, or was it just to hydrate, basically? Well, I showed up two drinks in. Okay. And I had 20 milligrams of edibles flowing through my thick veins. Unfortunately. Unfortunately. I feel like if you're drunk before getting on the train, the train kind of sucks that out of you. It's a sobering experience. Oh, less than five minutes. I was stone cold sober. Okay, okay. Less than five minutes. So the edibles were worthless. No, no, no. And then, well, I had a pocket full of edibles. Oh, you were able to continue popping them like Pringles throughout the evening. Once you lose your high. Then you're able to smoke again or chew again. Oh, okay. Swallow them a hole. Okay, okay. Boof them however you please. Are you going into the U.S. open bathroom to shove edibles up your ass in between sets? Any port in the storm. I don't want to be doing it. You guys don't want to be seeing it. Look, I'm stressed out, bro. But I felt bad because it was a stressful situation because you walk into Ash and they're like, oh, here's 75,000 wasps. Yeah. And they're all crammed. I mean, it's like.

And it's like Ellis Island, you know what I mean? It's just insanity. And you just stand there. I don't do well with that. You can't move. And it's hot. So I got a good high going. I got a good buzz going. And I got a life partner with me who does not like any of this. And she's like zipping through the crowd. She'd prefer not to be there and you're high and trailing. Well, I'm just like, hey, I'm finally here. We finally made it from fucking... Brooklyn, all the way to Queens on a train. You know, you got to walk all the way. You got to walk the plank. You got to scan this and here and this out here and blah, blah, blah. Open your bag, sir. Check the bag, blah, blah. You know, and just to walk from like the train to where your seat is was like an hour. Yeah. And it's an hour of constant fighting. Yeah. I've done this. I'm just like, oh, sorry. I'm just going to. I've done this. I mean, I went to The Weeknd last week. It's the same thing. No, because at crypto.com arena, they have... This wasn't crypto.com arena. That's where you fucked up. This is a football stadium, which is much bigger and much more annoying. True. I guess I'm saying the stadiums I'm used to, the stadiums and arenas that I'm used to, Waterfall's voice, are crypto, Dodger Stadium, whatever, all these places. Bowery Ballroom, where our show is going. These are places where 300 days out of the year, they got something. They're a well-oiled machine. Arthur Ashe, they're open two weeks a year. And you're saying they're not well-oiled. You're firing shots. It was not well-oiled at all. Okay, so you're saying these seasonal employees that are probably paid below minimum wage to swell through in the heat weren't kind of servicing you in the way that you would like. That's a good tennis pull right there, Chris. No problem. Well, I meant blowjob, but there's other kinds of servicing, I guess. I'm more of a slice on the tee if I can, you know what I mean? One of the biggest reasons for the bottleneck was once you get in and they scan your ticket, there were people handing you Moderna pharmaceutical Chinese fans.

So Modernica paid upwards of $5 million to seed fans fans. Yes. And is it because they're promoting a new booster? I think it's just general product awareness and brand awareness. They're just like, guys, we made a lot of money last year. Let's kind of ramp up the advertising budget. It's the same reason. Coca-Cola doesn't need to spend. It's the same kind of thing. Coca-Cola is a consumer product. Moderna is a faceless medicine company. Look, it felt odd to me. And the weird part is they would have, between sets or breaks or whatever, they would have pep rally style things where they do the fan cam where the camera's zooming around like, who's it going to be? And there's a five-year-old doing the TikTok dance and blah, blah, blah. And they had young, sort of attractive girls. A little homely, but it's Moderna. They can't be too sexy. Nothing says homely like a vaccine. They're trying to make Big Pharma more little. Big Pharma is homely as hell. There's nothing you can do about that. Big Pharma could lose 20. Yeah, of course. No, she was cute in high school. They would go around and they hand you this big sign. It looks like a protest sign. It would be like three feet by two. And it's just, like, a Moderna logo. It's just, like, an orange piece of cardboard that says, like, Moderna on it. And it probably says, like, hashtag US Open 22 or whatever. And they hand it to people and then pose for the camera. And it's, like, on television. And they're like, hey, hold up this, like, pharmaceutical company's logo. And people grab it. And love it. And are, yeah. I've never seen a bigger smile on someone's face. Just like, see, when advertising works like this, and this is why, I mean. This is a whole other issue, obviously. This is tier one. These are all people who make as much money as I do or way more. I'm at the bottom of this. These are all people who are very wealthy, who are very intelligent. What is the difference? Here's what you're forgetting. People that have regular, boring lives, they don't get the kind of attention that someone in your position gets.

I get a lot of attention. You're getting stopped on the street, not only if you're hype, but obviously you're kind of low-level celebrity status. Hey, big dick. Hey, hey. What's it smell like? You're getting stopped for a multitude of reasons, some good, some bad. You're being recognized. There's photos of you out in the world. These losers don't get any of this. So for them to promote a, I would say, you know, microchip, you know, on TV. No problem for them. This is the coolest thing that's ever happened to them. You know what I mean? So you didn't see Ben Stiller with the sign. Ben Smarter, yeah. Yeah, you see these homely chicks that are there with their finance boyfriend, and they're a little drunk, and it's fun. And they're just like, they sell me the disease so they can sell me the cure. Exactly. And they love it. Yeah, that does make sense. I don't love that tennis, a pure sport, has been infected, no pun intended, with this big pharma advertising. I liked when it was just Grey Goose, you know, Amex. Yeah, I don't see what the problem is. Yeah, it's just like Amex, J.P. Morgan. Yeah. Just blue chip. Fastballs down the middle. Fastballs down the middle. Why do you need to throw a curve, you know? And I would appreciate a ride maybe next year in an American-made suburban, the American Express shuttle. But no, I don't. Yeah, so fuck Moderna. That doesn't surprise me at all, though, because I think that Big Pharma is just dancing on our grave. They're laughing all the way to the bank. We got these motherfuckers for three years. Yeah, because I was in the Amex experience. Tennis is epic with Amex. And I'm walking around here. I'm like, it's a completely useless activation. Of course. That a creative agency. Don't come for the agencies. They're merely pawns here, and they should cash these checks. How fun can it be, Jason? I've been out of the agency game for a while. Thank God. You walk in, and it's like, what if we put a bunch of houseplants inside? That would look cool. It's just a bunch of games. It's a claw machine, and you get an Amex keychain.

What else are they supposed to do? You have to understand this is for general population. $10 million for this. $10 million for this. Yeah, but this is a general population activation, basically. All cardholders are welcome upstairs. That's what I'm saying. All cardholders, that's literally anybody with a pulse. That's how you get into the upstairs area. The downstairs area is available for everyone. It's basically just a class system where... Okay, don't get into your little... Okay, calm down. Everyone can walk in. It's a VIP room. When you go to the airport and you're in the lounge and it's above and all the people are below and you look at them and you're like, look at these people. They make me sick to myself. Well, unfortunately, it sounds much like the American Express activation at the US Open. The Delta lounges are, I would say, oversold. They've lowered the requirements to get in. So now there's literally a line at JFK to get into the lounge. I saw it. I'm like, if there's a line, I'm not going. There's a 50-person line to get into the lounge. It's crazy. Which means once you get into the lounge. I know where to sit. I can barely. The Wi-Fi is probably overloaded. How am I supposed to let my nuts hang by the hot oatmeal bar? But luckily, as an Amex member, I was able to access Nancy Silverton's Country Kitchen at the LAX Centurion Lounge, open at 6 a.m. What did Nancy have for you over there? Oh, it was a soft scramble. Obviously, since I am doing a little cheating on my Parmesan and fish diet, but I did not eat any bacon. Did it taste like baby food, or was it good? It was good. Okay. I mean, you know, I had avocado toast. It probably had some dukkah on there. Oh, don't tell me. Aleppo spices. You're saying somebody snuck dukkah into the airport? Nancy fucked around and did the unthinkable. Nancy was holding. Nancy had that shit taped to her thighs like it was a brick. The LAX union employees are like. You must have me all the way fucked up. You think I'm going to delightfully sprinkle this avocado toast with dukkah? So you're telling me you put a vegetable on top of bread and then you sprinkle this? Oh, hell no. You want me to whip this up? This shit got to be a paste now? It was fucked up. You people are crazy. I actually noticed there's a limited edition avocado toast available Delta One right now.

Does it have any key factors that would differentiate it from your grandmother's arvo? No, no. I think it's limited edition in the sense that it's not always on the menu. Just the fact. Just the pure fact. Well, the avocado is a seasonal fruit, and it is a fruit. I understand. I didn't even think about that. Okay. Yeah, so I think halfway through the match, and luckily I was sitting next to – I met a lot of podcast fans this week. Is that true? A lot of – yeah, yeah. A lot of bros. And a few ladies. Just kidding. It was all guys. Yeah, I had a lot of run-ins. Okay. All over town, in the city, in Brooklyn. I think maybe five or six different people at the U.S. Open. There were a couple of tall British fellas who asked for a photo while I was getting some Heinekens, and that made all the wasps around me very pissed off. I'm sure. I was sitting next to a guy who's a listener of the pod, and he's like, you sitting up here is not good for the brand. I'm just going to tell you that. Grant was correct. I'm glad that Grant kind of sides with me on things. Because that's why I didn't go to the other side. I'm like, I can either spin three racks. I can DM Ralph Lauren and pray. Or just watch it on TV. And I'm good. Maybe we need to align ourselves with Racket Magazine. I mean, I'm as aligned with Racket Magazine as I can be, but Caitlin's not calling me. Where the ticks at, though? I mean, I could probably. Caitlin, you're going to get a call. We might have to invite her on the pod one more time. I'll have her on the pod anytime. She's a great guest. She's a champion potter. Maybe for the next major, we'll have her on before the finals. Cincinnati just passed. I've got to check my program. Check my program. Okay, so halfway through the match, and I wanted to say a shout-out to Grant, who I was sitting next to, who was nice enough to keep the Heinekens flowing every time we would get up. Hold on. Grant was alone? He had a few friends. Okay, okay. He had a few friends. But he wasn't with a chick? He was not with a chick. Did you ask him why? I did not ask him why. He may have had a life partner.

But he was coming solo. What was the drip looking like on Grant? He was probably about a 30-year-old. He just looked like a cool New York guy. What do you think Grant's annual income is before taxes? 85. Okay, so he's young. Yeah. Okay. He had a nice vintage New York Mets hat on. He was very knowledgeable about tennis. Oh, that's good. So is he a player? I could only assume, yeah. But he's like a lifelong tennis fan. He knew a lot about the scoring system. And he was able to share some of that knowledge with you in a way that was nice and not annoying. Oh, 1,000%. This guy sounds like a winner to me. It was great. Are you saying that you would maybe take this relationship to the next level? Could it be fan to maybe text friends? Yeah. Grant, if you're listening, send me a DM on IG. Because I did, unfortunately, I was too embarrassed to say goodbye to him before we did the Irish goodbye. You know, because the only thing better than watching tennis at the U.S. Open is leaving before the 30,000 people. Yeah, there's no – I've never stayed until the end of anything. Like, I'll leave anything early. Any event, you leave early. It's amateur hour to stay until the end. It will absolutely ruin your day. I like tennis. I like playing it. I don't like watching it enough to stick around until the end. It's one of those situations where watching it in person is impressive if you're close enough. But otherwise, it's like I'd rather... I was watching it last night on TV. After dinner, I was relaxed. I'd had a shower. It's nicer to watch it at home. It's nicer to watch it at home. Most things are nicer at home. I would say live music is the only thing that I would like to see. And even then, I'm usually disappointed. True that. Who cares? Yeah, but halfway through the match, I looked over to Carolyn and I was like, we can never come back here again on our own. On our own accord, on our own time. I was like, we can't come here again without Emily Oberg. And she was like, look, I didn't ever want to come here at all. This is for your birthday, you big bitch. Yeah. Okay. Pretty much. I would also like to point out that we're celebrating your birthday tonight as well. And I'm just a little confused by the timing. So if you could kind of let me know why. So the timing that you have an issue with is the fact that we're having dinner.

On a Saturday night in Manhattan? Oh, no, no, no. I'm not having an issue with that. I just wanted to hash something else I hear in the public forum. Oh, the timing. More just that my 40th birthday, which is a – I mean, obviously the queen died, so that's kind of stealing a little thunder for me. But it's as close to a national holiday as it could be. I'm glad you brought this up, Chris. I'm glad you brought this up. It's on the 11th, which is early, but it's in L.A. And it's been planned for a little while. So after that's planned, it's confirmed. The invite's gone out. You text me. We're having a birthday dinner for me in New York at the beautiful new Le Rock restaurant in Rockefeller Center. Thank you to Al. Thank you for Al for everything this weekend, I guess. Go to Gigi's. Tip your bartenders. So just to be clear, you planned this party. So there's a dinner at 8.30 p.m. And I had to move my flight, which cost me upwards of $500, so that I could stay here to celebrate you, which I'm happy to do, and then go back tomorrow on my flight at 7 a.m., and then I'm going to feel bad for my own birthday. Is this you trolling me? Is this on purpose? Well, first of all, do you think I would ever plan a birthday dinner for myself? Great point. This is what I was betting on, and I'm glad that you've confirmed this because there was a lot of different ideas in my head. Try this on for size. Speaking of coming out of pocket for flights. I was not planning on coming to New York at all. Look, all cards on the table, I wanted you to come to be a part of the J. Crew thing because that's something important to me and I wanted you to be there. And they were like, well, dress Jason. Sure, this will be great. You know what I mean? I appreciate that. Yeah. And $4,000 later, here I am. Don't worry. Carolyn got Delta One. Okay. On the way over. Okay. I was in a nice middle seat in Comfy Plus. Okay. But again, so you're saying that this dinner. Basically, it was like, here's the whole thing happened while we were on holiday. Yes. So like while we're in Sicily. Uh-huh.

10k in the hole for that yeah she was like you know what drinking water and some more you're drinking water while you're in a bathtub you know what i mean it's just it's your it's something about these fucking bitches where they gotta buy flame tickets and hotels while they're on no no no it's a vacation it's unbelievable because it's truly something that i don't think men do this is i'm dead serious i don't think men do that i really don't i haven't been on a trip In the last two years where we didn't plan another trip while we were on the trip. You know what, bro? I digress. I can't talk too much. I think we're going to have to add [redacted address] for us to avoid this is to be gone as much as possible. Sam Gaines. Wait, that's good. Not as much as possible. High road touring, if you're listening to this, fire up the machine. I know it's a Saturday night, but we got to get to work. Let's do two weeks in Alaska. I'm going. I'm going. I'll do chuckle fuckers in Cleveland every night this week. I don't give a shit. I'll lose money. I'll visit war-torn countries where the U.S. Embassy says it's not safe to travel to. We're going to do a strong two hours in Kosovo, and I don't give a shit. As long as I don't ever have to go. I'll travel by boat. As long as I don't ever have to go to Italy again, I'll go anywhere else. So basically it was like, all right, I'm going to buy you a ticket for the U.S. Open. And I was like, okay, this is the match. We're not going to go to the finals on a Sunday because that's your birthday. That's right. CB4911. And I was like, I mean, I can't go to a women's match. Of course. We got September 9th right there. And then it was like, okay, well, we got that. On the 7th is the J'Crew party. which I had to buy my own flight and hotel for, which is fun. We weren't flying mid-tier in, sorry. Oh, you think I'm mid-tier? I'm feeling generous because we are celebrating your birthday on this podcast as well as at dinner after this at 8.30 p.m. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I mean, long story short, you know I didn't do any. You know I wouldn't have done any of this. So you're saying, long story short, you don't apologize because it's not your fault.

Well, I am thanking you for sticking around and adjusting your flight. That is nice of you and your partner. No, I mean, I would have it no other way. Obviously, I don't care about money. But I'm here for like four nights or so. Yeah. And like every day, you know, like we land on Wednesday and go straight. To the J. Crew. Thursday, we have a pod with Dead. I'm hungover as a bastard editing in the hotel. Dead Pod, very popular. It was a great episode. Great album, great people. Can't wait to see them live. Shout out to Jason, because Emily's not listening. I was talking to Kevin Morby about it today, and Morby said, those guys could be as big as the killers with the right production. He said, those songs are like... bad love the single he's like that's as big as it gets i'm like damn you're right honestly you're right so uh bad love bad producer is what it was no no i think it's just like i think that if you just kidding go in with a different mindset if they went in with like calvin harris someone like that yeah house mafia yeah metro booming yeah metro booming's coming out of retirement blade so so Every day was very accounted for. Every day has a thing. Yesterday was the tennis. Today's this thing. It's just one of those things. It's kind of tough because somebody like me who's like, I never ask for anything so that nobody asks me for anything. You know what I mean? It's a toxic Virgo trait that I am not working on. No, I'm not working on either. Fuck that. I'm happy to celebrate you, and it's no problem at all. And the best part is that... But this is why we have our wonderful partners in our life to do these things for us that we won't do. Yeah, sure. Yeah, I mean... Which is one way to look at it. I can't wait to eat some fussy food at 8.30 p.m. You know what I mean? Nothing I love more than southern French cuisine. But luckily for you, there's a...

There's a kind of a Kendall Jenner and Will Welch from GQ are hosting your birthday after party. Which is so nice of them. And thanks to our friends over at Forward, you know what I mean, for doing that. I don't know who's DJing. Does it say who's DJing? Oh, oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Zach B is DJing. Oh, you already fucking. My man. You already know Big B in the building. I saw Zach eating some cream barbecue for lunch a couple weeks ago at Parks Barbecue. Didn't say hi. He may have been on a date. I didn't want to. Who goes on a daytime date at Park's Barbecue on a weekday? Zach and a nice-looking guy. I don't know. Oh, it was a guy. Oh, I see what you're saying. Oh, I get you. No, no, no. And also, that was the day that Park's Barbecue lost my valet key, the Tesla card. The valet guy gave it to somebody else. We're still two weeks out. No sign of it. That's why I don't go to Korean restaurants. Besides the food being bad. They handled it quite well. It's the valet's fault. No, I'm sure, of course. Not the Korean matriarch. Look, I'm excited to celebrate you. I didn't want to have that conversation on the podcast, but I knew the answer, and that's why I asked. I did want to have it. Huh? I did want to have it on the podcast. Yeah, so what else do we have here? All right, Chris, what's your top three favorite prescription pills? I'm just kidding. I'm happy. This week in New York has been absolutely taxing on my mental and physical. Yeah, it actually has not been for me because I've been in Brooklyn the whole time where not a care in the world happens because not a thing happens. Well, I mean, when you're surrounded by that much ugliness, it's hard to kind of feel anything is what I have experienced there. But I've just had a lot going on. There was a shoot. You've been busy working. I've been working. I'm on my absolute grind. That's what happens here in the Big Apple. If you didn't have fitness. I don't know where you would be. It's true. And we went to today, and I have to suggest this for our listeners. There's a Wolfgang Tillman's retrospective at the MoMA, and it is absolutely amazing. Best thing I've seen in years. And I would highly suggest going. Frank Ocean was there. You are Wolfgang Pilled, though. Frank Ocean was there. Jefferson Hack was there with his daughter, with Kate Moss. And the guy checking me out at the store was a How Long Gone listener. So it was a big afternoon in Midtown. All I heard was Frank, you know? Bro, this guy, this fucking guy.

I'm sure he looked great. I didn't see him, but... Could you see the ring? What, his dick ring? Yeah. No, I think only Omar's seeing that, you know what I'm saying? Omar! So are you getting absolutely twisted tonight? I hope not. I mean, I want to be good and drunk, but I think on Wednesday at J'Cru, it was tough. Because whenever first day out... Uh-huh. The feds. Once Y-Control didn't come on, you were like, three more crony tits, please. No, it was like, all right, boom, I'm in New York. I'm finally here. I've been on a plane all day. Blah, blah, blah. I'm finally here. And you just start drinking, man. You just start chugging it up. And then the day after the Queen died. I mean, you know, I'm sure you were kind of. I'm not ready to talk about that. Okay, well, I didn't know. I sent the beans to the hotel as kind of like a. . . In remembrance. That was sweet. Gift. That was sweet. I didn't know if you... You didn't have a hot plate in there, so you couldn't enjoy them, I guess. I was unable to roast them. I think you're going to get to... Who's even coming to this dinner? I don't even know who's coming to this dinner. Tonight? Yeah. Them jeans. Okay. You. Okay. Our chicks. Okay. David Cho. Okay. Nomi Fry. Okay. Ben Edgar. Okay. And Andy Nauman. Okay. So that's it. So this is another question I'm having. Huh? We got an eight top. This is another question I find so interesting, because it's like you don't even have any friends here. So it's like we're really having to kind of cobble this together. No, I mean, trust me, I wish I could have done more. Because Arca's in town, and I don't see him on the list, so it's kind of weird to me. Them. Charlie XCX is in town, not on the list. Look, Charlie and I are close, but I don't know. I don't know if we're that close. Doja is here performing. Everyone's here. I know. There's a big Mark Jacobs party tonight at Elsewhere in Cursed Bushwick, and the lineup is wild. It's the most them jeans lineup I've ever seen. We got Pink Panthras. Pink Panthras, Charlie XCX, Doja Cat, and there's like a few more. That's a crazy lineup. There's like a few more. I don't understand how much money they're spending. Also, Elsewhere is like, what, 700 cap, something like that? It's big. It's almost just like a proper venue. So that's what's cool about doing a party there.

I did go to the, I went to dinner with former guest of the show, Adam Ray, friend of the show, Ryan Williams, and a few other, Alex, and a few other people to Nine Orchard. Orch. To eat at the Dime Square Hotel. Pretty good. It was a pretty good $78 shrimp cocktail, I'm sure. The shrimp cocktail was actually $28. Okay. How jumbo were these little guys? I think we need to make a piece, a shirt. that lists shrimp cocktail prices at all of our favorite restaurants. That's a good idea, right? I like that. Are you, speaking of, are you ready to hit the road? Are you excited about our recently announced tour? It's tickets on sale now. I'm excited to do some solo travel. I will say that. No, I mean, I think that the, as much as we like to complain about being in those flyover cities. No offense to my badass chick. Of course. No, no, no. Of course. Same. Be a baddie, though. I think that the, The mundaneness of some of that lifestyle is truly calming to the soul in a way that I like to complain about it, but I think it's kind of good for you if you go into it with the right mindset. I think just the monotony of doing it and kind of like... Day in, day out, you kind of know what's happening. There's obviously some X factors and some surprises, but overall, you're kind of doing the same shit every day. You might lose your wallet at the Atlanta airport, something like that, on the first day. You might have to pull your business partner away from four mouth breathers in Philadelphia. Not in Philadelphia, in every city. In every city, that's what it is. But I think that this new style of touring we're doing now, which is more of like a... I wish it was more mayor style where we just flew back home every night. You know what I mean? We're not quite there yet. I think that it's an interesting approach. I've been working on some guests to announce later. Some people we've seen this week. I wanted to talk about the... Susan Alexandra. Yeah, buy some tickets, guys. Buy some tickets. I know a lot of people already have. But yeah, L.A., we got Highland Park, we got the Troubadour on West Hollywood, Sunset Strip, classic venue. I think there's a band playing the day before called Goat Punishment. Right. Which is a great little one-two punch if you want to see Goat and then kind of bring the tent and camp out. Yeah, funny. Rebounder's actually playing the night before Music Hall of Williamsburg.

Shiver Me Timbers. That's funny. Yes. And then we're doing Bowery Ballroom in Manhattan. And then I'm going to see if I can make it to Music Hall of Williamsburg. It's not looking good. I think Jason might kind of have to take that. That'll be a solo app. Jason's kind of taking that one on his own. I'll see if the saxophone player in Vampy Weeks can come and fill in for you. Who's around this week? Yeah, but we went to the Susan Alexander show. It was at the Comedy Cellar. Yeah. And it was just straight up. Great venue. Stand up. It was just eight different people. And it was pretty good. And there was one... As somebody who does not enjoy stand-up comedy, what... You know what I liked about it? I liked that it was... Everybody did five minutes. You know what I mean? It was just like... Tight five. It was nothing but murderers. There was one comedian from... Trying out new stuff. There was a comedian from Canada who did the entire eight minutes or whatever about abortion. And the joke was that we should allow abortion up until 10 years old. And it was really fucking funny. It was really good. Okay. Murder. They bring it up, and then he does the twist at the end is he wants to allow abortion up until 10 years old. I believe they. I'm not sure. It was that kind of... So then there was this guy, Kareem, who actually... They don't like breeders, so it doesn't make sense. We've got to kill some eight-year-olds. This guy, Kareem, who's like a regular straight guy, did his set, and it did not go well. And he found me on Twitter and was like, thank you, Chris Black. You're the only guy laughing at my hetero jokes at the Susan Alexander's Fashion Show. I appreciate you. Kareem, know your crowd. He didn't know the crowd. And then... Do you remember any of his hetero jokes? Fellas, do you ever be watching the football game? And everyone's like, boo! Even just saying fellas, they started doing. But the woman from Saturday Night Live that does the really good impressions of Drew Barrymore. Sarah Squirm. No, no, no. She was there, too. Oh, oh, oh. Chloe. She's got blonde hair. Chloe Fineman. She's a Scientologist. Oh, gosh. We were sitting. So Alex and I were sitting next to Ella. Scientologist and lived in Highland Park. Sitting next to Ella, right next to the stage. And she's doing her thing. And she looks over. She's like,

Oh, shit, I made fun of you on Saturday Night Live. I started talking about, and Ella was loving it. It was really funny. It was really funny. She did some great impressions, I have to say. Bay said the best, the funniest person, her favorite person was the MC, the big fella. Yeah, the MC made someone in the front row so uncomfortable that I thought she was going to leave. How so? Just like joking about her outfit, but she was like. Like, it honestly looked like she was going to hyperventilate. Really? Yeah, it was, like, really, it was, like, a funny. Don't sit in front row if you can't handle it, hunty. Luckily, it was a seating chart, so. But, no, I think that overall, it was really fun. It was, like, really cool and, like, a smart thing to do. It's a good idea, a good spin, a good way to show off the clothes. And the MC just would come on. He would just come on the stage every time with, like, three different bags on his arm. And that was the shtick for, like, eight. It was good. It was fun to be in. And I think that, like. I don't know. I just thought it was like an inventive. It was. It was cool. Smart idea. It was cool. All powered by Bonza. Of course. They were giving out Bonza hot slices. Hot slices? Was it yummy? I didn't enjoy it. I didn't partake. Yeah, speaking of mouth breathers, I was at Equinox Williamsburg today. Oh, my God. Are you good? Bro, put a mask on. I'm not good. I got to say I'm spoiled. I'm so spoiled in Glendale. Obviously, no shade to Equinox. Thank you for giving me a pass. Are you saying there wasn't a single Armenian trainer at the Williamsburg Equinox? Zero. It was weird because my location is just pristine. The boys in there, and they keep it. I can eat breakfast off the floor in the shower. It's so clean. All the Q-tips are perfect. They look like cigarettes at a Mary-Kate and Ashley party. It's beautiful. Spotless. constantly being cleaned not overcrowded every all the machines work well and uh the williamsburg one it was i felt like i was at rikers with the fucking with some pelotons in the corner not a single square foot of room to do anything and this is what time on a saturday this was like 11 a.m probably

Yeah, I think, unfortunately... What do you mean? Obviously, it's going to be packed. Yeah, I mean, unfortunately, I think that is primetime, especially on a weekend. But also, I know you're not going to grustle 6 a.m. on a Saturday when you're hungover. There's no point. No, no, no. I'm not surprised by this. My question to you is, were there hotties? Were people getting it in? Yes and yes. Okay. So, if you can... But the one in Soho, like the Equinox in Soho, it's a little bit different. Hotter and more getting it in. Yeah. Actually, no. Getting it in, maybe a little bit less. Okay. That's because they have better genetics. They don't have to try as hard. That's kind of my guess there. Absolutely. Okay. Well, I mean, I could have told you this, but Williamsburg is the worst place in America. That's the dead truth. That's worse than Flint. It's the worst place in America because it is so big now. You know what I mean? It's so populated. And it's so like, there shouldn't even be an Equinox. That's my point. So it has all, which is next to the Sephora store. So it became this once cool neighborhood that is now basically, I would, I mean, for many reasons, of course, I would rather be in Soho because at least it's just like, it is what it is. No one thinks, no one pretends that it's something that it's not. There's going to be the M&M store. Yeah, 100%. There's going to be a line outside of the Supreme all the time. You know you're getting that, and that's totally fine. And Mad Happy did open today. I wasn't able to check it out, unfortunately. But I guess it's just like Williamsburg has none of the history of Williamsburg is not like, oh, this is where XYZ lived, and this is where this amazing restaurant was. It's literally like, Oh, yeah, man, that guy from, that guy, yeah, he used to live over there. McKibben Street Lofts are sick, bro. I OD'd there once, and it's just so cool, you know? I know this really good, like, metal artist who used to have a space there. Do you know that song, House of Jealous Lovers? Bro, I saw that guy yesterday at Variety. It's sick. But it's just like, there's no, it's not, it's like, I guess maybe it's just because it's not old enough yet, so maybe in 20 or 30 years.

We'll look back and actually people will care that James Murphy planted his flag there. And I did go to Four Horsemen. Thanks for the hospitality, fam. Is James Murphy kind of the Basquiat of Williamsburg? Speaking of Dusty, even though we're not talking about it, when we were at the U.S. Open yesterday, the camera will do the celebs. It's like blah, blah, blah. They didn't have the 70 millimeter. They couldn't get to you up there. They didn't have the Nat Geo. They had the technology. They chose not to use it. But, you know, you got Jamie Foxx wearing, like, an awful cowboy hat thingy. But Michelle Obama was front row. Yeah. And the crowd, I have never seen or heard a crowd cheer that loud. Like, it was ten times louder than when, like, any crazy point happened. Oh, of course, bro. It was so wild. But then they went down into the dustiest booth. You would ever seen Joel McHale, Jason Biggs, and LCD Sound System. Not Biggs. Yeah. Honestly, I love Joel McHale. I have a soft spot for him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's good looking, so I'm going to give him a pass here. I don't know how he got the tickets. That's fucking crazy. But Jason Biggs, he must be beasting in the underground. He must be low-key a producer. I don't know, man. So is James Murphy or the whole band? It was James Murphy, Joel, and Biggs. What do you think those three were talking about being Eskimo brothers? Or do you think they were talking about, like, I can't even imagine. Yeah, it's such a motley crew. Do you think Joel McHale knew who James Murphy was? Yes. I don't think so. No, they look like they were all friends. I guess it's like 50-50 that Joel is like, hey, man, love your music. And the other 50 is like, good to meet you, bro. What do you do? Yeah. Oh, cool music. That's cool. Joel McHale is a jock. I think he's into football. I don't know. I mean, I guess LCD Sound System is technically music for jocks, if you think about it. You know, but I don't. That trio is absolutely cursed, and I bet they've.

I bet at least two of them have had sex with the same girl from One Oak. Oh, absolutely. At least two of them. Yeah, I'm taking that bet all day long. Okay, what else do we have here? I brought over some Athletic Greens AG1. Were you slurping? I did a dry scoop yesterday in the hotel room. Holy shit. It was the wrong move. I brought mine as well. I've been mixing into water like a normal person. Yeah, I've never dry scooped before. So explain exactly what you do. You just put it in your mouth and then drink water on top of it? Yeah. How bad is that? You basically pour it into your mouth, and then it's like a ticking time bomb. As long as you can breathe through your nose, you're okay. But you're one... step away from just an explosion of powder. Does that make you sneeze like I do sometimes when I have the first bite of tiramisu? Yes. Some of those little cocoa pow-pows. I don't like that sensation. I do not like that sensation at all. I hate it. I don't like it at all. It was yummy, but yeah, AG1's making me feel good on this trip. Your gut is... Maybe AG1 is the trick besides the lack of drug use so far. Yeah. Oh, I'll probably do Coke tonight. Who's going to bring you Coke? Beep. I went to Winson Bakery in Brooklyn. More like Midson. Mid, comma, son. Really? I mean, it looks good on Instagram. No shade. I'm sure they're great people. Everything is Mid. That's our society. The only thing that's not Mid is Wolfgang Tillman's The MoMA. Go check it out. I just don't like a food destination, a global food destination. How poppy? Was it just insane? No, it was decently. It was like halfway full. There were, let's say there were 20 people there. 19 of them had no food. One person was eating. Everyone else was drinking water and working on their laptops. It was like an airport lounge. Oh, God. Everyone, everyone, every single person at this restaurant was on Google Docs. That's fucking, honestly, as I've said before, I won't work in public unless I'm absolutely half, unless it's like life or death. The thought of like waking up and being like, okay.

I'm going to go to a popping bakery? At least just go to a coffee place. It's like a thing, I thought. I thought it was like a thing people wait in line to do. You know what I mean? That's what I thought. That's weird. It's weird. But we went to some Vietnamese place for lunch today. DND. Good? That was good. That was nice. Very nice. I went and played with Jeff's baby today. Just kind of hung out with Jeff and Sarah and the baby. Baby loved me. Did you love baby? Kind of. You coming around? No, but when a baby is cute and well-behaved, I'm like, okay, I see why you made this decision. It didn't totally ruin your life yet. But wait until Jeff's on set. In 15 years, he gets the call. She's gotten expelled from... Whatever. She spit on the headmist. No, she would never do that. Jeff is too sweet. Also, when I was at mid-sun, I saw an anomaly I had never seen before. Needle in a haystack situation. I saw a hot person with a parrot on their shoulder. Whoa. You know when you see somebody in public with a parrot on the shoulder? It's always like a fat guy who's like an ex-magician who's using the parrot in order to get chicks to talk to him, whatever. This is a pretty attractive woman with a parrot on her shoulder, and she was talking to the parrot, and it was fucked up. I hate this, but it's also very interesting. Me too. I'm interested. And then one last observation. I've noticed that Carl, I don't know if it's a Fashion Week thing. Sure. Karl Lagerfeld clothing. I've seen a lot of it this week in New York. And I didn't even know it was a real company. No, he died. I mean, this has been around for a while, but it's really, really bad. It's cheap. That's why you see it. Yeah, yeah. But it's not a real thing. When I'm in Italy or something like that, you'll see a gift shop with Karl Lagerfeld t-shirt. This is very popular. Like Alibaba type shit. No, this is very popular in the Asian community. Yeah, but every...

Guy working at the bodega, random woman walking on the street. Just normal people are all wearing Karl Lagerfeld clothing. I can explain it to you. It's all discount? R.I.P. Kaiser. No, it's like a cheap, it's like literally like Uniqlo prices. And it's a name that is synonymous with Chanel. Sure. So it's like I'm going to buy this shit and it's going to make me, it's like some. Yeah. That's all it is. To me it's just so. It's like such an opposite. You think of Karl Lagerfeld as like this fashion icon genius, one of the greatest fashion minds in the world, and his clothing company. It's literally a fake clothing name. Well, first of all, he's dead, so he has no control. But don't ever sell your name. This is what happens. This happens a lot in fashion where people sell their name, and then they get fucked, or they have to buy it back. It's this whole thing. This happens all the time. That's why it's sometimes smarter to just name the brand something and retain the rights to your name. That's why we didn't call this Chris Black and Jason Stewart's podcast. And that's why our clothing diffusion line is gone by how long gone? Gone by how long gone, of course. All right, well, it's time to go celebrate my friend and co-host. Time to go eat crab out of a crab shell for $1,000. Jason Stewart at a restaurant where they're going to tell me they do things a little differently around here. And, yeah, I mean, we're heading back to L.A. for my 40th tomorrow. It's been a big week in New York. Thank you guys for listening. Big pods next week, baby. Oh, really? We're going front men only, if you know what I'm saying. Ooh, like band leaders? Band leaders. And, yeah, get your tickets. We can't say any of these names because we'll jinx them. Yeah, yeah. Well, this is two singers of bands that people will like. Legends. New and old. But, yeah, get your tickets now. New York, L.A. We're excited to come see you guys. And they'll, of course, be merch to go with that, etc., etc.

How long gone losers? We'll talk to you later.